Perception of Disability

swimming pool (Photo credit: freefotouk)

I took my son to a large indoor swimming pool the other day. He loves the water. Although he is 35 years old, he splashes the water like a three-year old. I think he just enjoys the feel of the water on his skin. He throws the water up over his head, and then throws himself backwards and under the surface, almost like a self-baptism. You can’t help but smile when you see him in the water. I still remember when he was really small – always fascinated by water.

He can swim – well a kind of dog-paddle that gets him along, or a kind of back-stroke with lots of splashing and huge kicks that propels him quite well through the water.

I ask him to swim along with me as I put my goggles on and do my crawl stroke, but he opts to walk along the lane with me, because with his long legs it’s actually quicker. He would probably prefer to stay in the one spot in the pool (there’s plenty of water there, he probably thinks, so he doesn’t have to leave that place to find some more!), but I think it is more like the thing you are supposed to do if you are an adult and in ‘the slow lane’.

He giggles and smiles a lot and does his little ‘stirring-up-the-water’ splash as he walks along, so I know he is still enjoying himself. I guess the elderly man who shares the lane with us this day also sees that he is enjoying himself immensely too, because he comments in a friendly way, “He sure likes the water, doesn’t he?”

I agree with him, and while we both stand at the end of the lane catching our breath and watching he asked me some questions about my son.

The regular: “How old is he?”, “What’s wrong with him?” came and were explained as briefly as I have learned to respond over the years. (People don’t really want to know this stuff; they are just ‘being kind’ and ‘showing interest’.) After this introductory chat usually comes the commendation: “You have done a good job with him.”

I’m never really sure how one is supposed to respond to this kind of comment. I know the man is being kind, but I’m inclined to defer to my son.

Over the many years that I have applied to and harassed agencies and organisations for services that he has a right to, but can’t ask for himself, I have never done anything, really, except … simply respect his right to be who he is.