Recently I attended a support group for mums and carers of kids on the autism spectrum. I attended this local group in the morning, and I the afternoon I opened an email with a link to a group discussion on the Internet submitted by “RethinkingAutism”. It was interesting to note comparisons between to two discussion groups. Surprising similarities. Check out the you tube reference to “listening to what the autistic person is saying”.
http://www.youtube.com/user/RethinkingAutism
Here are a few of the fears expressed by some mums and carers in the morning group.
- I’m afraid of being seen as a “stage mum” if I go to the school to ask someone to do something for my son.
- I expect the school to let me know if my son “has a meltdown”.
- I find that it is really difficult to cope when my son has a meltdown when we are out in public.
- I wouldn’t want my son to attend an “autism-specific” school. He wouldn’t be able to learn social skills there.
They also shared suggestions. Each person with a suggestion was happy to say their piece, but those listening appeared to simply become more confused with the plethora of “handy hints” on offer.
- What works best for me is when I let my son pick his own reward when he’s done something great.
- I try to get the whole family to work together when we have an issue with my son.
A couple of new mums in the corner were having a subdued conversation.
- I come to this group and I hear of different activities that other children are involved in, and I think, “Why haven’t I heard of that before? Why didn’t someone tell me that was available?”
- What I need is one person who understands what my son needs and also knows what services are available that best suits his needs.
After watching the you-tube clip I pondered the morning’s discussion. I wondered what some of them might say if they were able to get inside the head of their autistic child and see the situation from his point of view.
Perhaps their child might be saying: “I didn’t ask you to intervene on my behalf. I’d like to do things my way. I don’t mean to upset anyone. Can you try to give me a little extra time to adjust when you decide to change things? I’m sorry if I don’t do things that way you want me to, but I’m doing the best I can.”
